Totum Stories: Everything is changing...again

 

By Evangeline Koslowsky

Brand-Builder, Mom to Lola, LA by way of Chicago, Food Network/HGTV/Amazon Prime Addict

Totum Women

She is almost one. I just ordered her a cake. I can’t believe how fast this has all gone. I never believed anyone when they said it would fly by—but now she is almost one, and I feel like everything is changing—again. I have just started to get used to being a “new mom”--and now it is time for her to be one. The baby phase officially over. I know it’s just a number, but it feels big and my emotions are mixed.

I was so scared before I met her that I wouldn’t be good enough for her at all of her stages—newborn, infant, baby—but we did it together.

I will soon be the mother to a toddler and I have no idea what that means. Will I still be able to hold her in my arms? Will she want me to sing her to sleep? Will we ever get these quiet times back where she just wants to sit on my lap? I know that my mind is spiraling, and I know things will be fine, but turning one just seems like such a huge milestone—and just something I never focused on. 

The one thing I try to keep telling myself is that I need to trust her. I was so scared before I met her that I wouldn’t be good enough for her at all of her stages—newborn, infant, baby—but we did it together. It never felt scary in the moment because we learned together—albeit sometimes it was insane and involved a lot of diapers, messes, tears—but we got through it and she taught me that not only was it not as bad as I thought—but I was good enough. I know I just need to keep reminding myself we will do this together too--these changes seem like they are going to all come overnight, but it's only overwhelming if I let it be overwhelming. I need to be present--and be excited--for both of us. As much as I would love time to slow down, I need to remind myself this is a happy time, and yes one year is behind us but we have so many ahead.

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